Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his weekly, mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring
Pierre Gasly and Franco Colapinto will be instructed to cruise around at the back of the grid for the remainder of the 2026 season following Alpine F1’s tie-up with legendary fashion brand Gucci, sources have told TopGear.com.
The Enstone-based outfit has ordered its drivers to finish well after the races have ended so that they can be ‘fashionably late’.
And team bosses have said that should either driver attempt aggressive overtakes or show any racer’s instinct, the pit wall will be allowed to limit that car’s power to slow it down because ‘trying so hard to win really isn’t cool’.
“This partnership with one of the world’s most famous fashion icons will reinvigorate our team,” a source told TG. “Having spent years stuck in a revolving door of personnel, scrapping for minor points to now finally making headway in the championship, we’re now going to spend the rest of 2026 looking just really, really bloody cool.
“Gone is the nursery pink and blue, and in comes an iconic Italian colourway that’ll look so amazingly good when Gasly and Colapinto are cruising around the circuit at a relaxed, fashionable pace.
“Winning isn’t cool,” the source added. “ Not trying to win in a car capable of a solid midfield points finish is.”
Sources confirmed Gasly and Colapinto’s racing overalls would be replaced with tailor-made wool suits that are at once perfect for both casual and formalwear, while the cars would undergo a drastic redesign to shorten the length, add in double cuffs on the front splitter and extend the rear arches with foam pads.
